The Adventures of Skull Boy and Water Baby...

I'm going to write a series of poems predominantly about two characters, Skull Boy and Water Baby, (who are based on a couple I saw at the Rites of Passage Tattoo and Art Festival, which I'll post about in a few days). Here are the first few poems, they're in a kind of an order. I haven't worked it fully out yet, maybe you can make your own.

And that inspired me to write this one....

Missing you
is writing bad-love poems
with a pick-up line magnetic poetry set
on an empty fridge.








Well I hope that gave you some enjoyment! Please feel free to critique the poems, it is always helpful to know what people think doesn't work.
as always, h xx

Wondering What the Big Deal is...

After a discussion on depression in a Uni class last week, a girl came up and asked me "Why are you so open about having anxiety?"
I was kind of shocked. Actually, not kind of. I was dumbstruck.

The tone of the question was accusing, disappointed, angry. As if she felt I didn't have the right to speak up about the issues. As if the only reason I was speaking up was to get attention for myself. As if I'd made her uncomfortable, and she wanted an apology.

Well, no.


Why do we have to approach mental health as an abstract and impersonal issue, when that is exactly what it isn't? Why do people assume that when I say I struggle with anxiety and depression, I am about to fall apart and run off the nearest roof?

And why do I speak so openly about it? Because it is normal. It's everyday. Tackling it is just another thing I do, like buying milk and cleaning my teeth. Because everyone should be able to say how they are feeling honestly, without thinking they will get fired, or feeling second-rate. Because having these conversations behind closed doors is what makes depression so hard to detect in the first place. Because believe it or not, I am seriously not the only one in the whole universe who has to deal with it, you probably will too at some point in your life.

When I first really started to feel myself go under, in high school, no-one was talking about mental health as a wide spectrum. If you weren't suicidal, you were happy. I knew that I didn't feel as bad as the really sad kids; those Upwey girls who hung themselves. I also knew I was not as happy as my friends. I assumed that I was either crazy, or subconsciously trying to attract attention, and that I should just keep quiet.

Those feelings delayed me being able to get help by about 5 years. For some people I know, that's more like 10, or 20. What happens if you delay cancer treatment? It develops- the stages change, it gets more serious. This is the same with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. The longer the delay, the harder it is to get back on track.

Last year, a friend turned up to work, distraught. That week one of his best mates had been found in the backyard, swinging from a rope. Nobody knew that anything had been wrong- he was married, they had fights like any other couple, but outwardly he was happy. Thankfully this guy survived, after being in a coma for a few days. Those Upwey girls weren't so lucky. Suicide kills more teenagers every year than car accidents. Isn't that worth talking about?


So no, girl in my uni class. I am not an attention seeking brat, or an emo kid crying in the corner. Most days I'm actually incessantly and annoyingly cheerful. Occasionally I am angry, and sometimes I am in between. These are called moods, and regardless of your state of mental health, they are normal. It's a spectrum, and you're on there somewhere too.

Here's a video that sums it all up;

If you need help, call someone:
- beyondblue info line: 1300 22 4636
-Lifeline: 13 11 14
-SuicideLine (VIC): 1300 651 251
Or check out the beyondblue website.

helenxx

The past couple of weeks have been filled with interesting happenings.

 Most importantly, I rediscovered the news - through the MamaMia website. Mia Freedman has long been my number one idol (and this is a pretty big feat, if you could see the list...). I could give you the massive list of reasons why, but I would prefer if you read her memoirs, also called "Mama Mia". I will even lend it to you!

Here are the three news issues which impacted me most this fortnight, and what I think of them. They are only my own views. Therefore, as a disclaimer: I don't claim to be infallible or to be an expert on any of the issues below, so don't read them as such. I am open to changing my views on any topic, if I am provided with reason to, and I will listen to your reasons. In order to be as short and sweet as possible, I have neglected to reference my information, if you would like some links, comment below and I will add them.

1. KONY 2012. Yes, this has been over-publicized and we are exhausted- give me four sentences and I will stop. My main problem is that the Invisible Children are a shady organisation who have produced a video which is basically a piece of propoganda and an advertising tool for their online store. It over-simplifies the issues in Uganda, (and the whole of Africa, and every third-world country) encouraging a violent man hunt which, even if it is successful, will achieve nothing in the long-term for the people of Uganda. In the video Jacob consistently and passionately talks about wanting to go to school. I believe the real way to overturn Kony and every other "bad man" in Africa and Uganda is to provide the resources and teachers to educate as many children as possible, creating an environment of hope and understanding in the community which can lead to change - supporting a violent man hunt only supports violence, and they have seen enough of that already.

2. THE BLACK DOG INSTITUTE. As the Kony 2012 campaign exploded into Facebook, a lot of people forgot about issues much closer to home, and this one was left for dead.  In a nutshell; the institute has been training teachers to educate children on mental health issues, as part of the P.E curriculum. The program will begin in NSW, and then be rolled out across the rest of Australia. It's focused on teaching teenagers about mood disorders, recognising symptoms, understanding at-risk personality types, knowing where to get help and building resilience. Click on the link above to read the news release from Black Dog.

While there have been many attempts to educate teenagers about depression in schools, the current teenage suicide rates suggest these have been unsuccessful.  I believe that the main reasons for this are; a) the programs are not taken seriously by students, b) there is not enough content covered by such programs because of limited time and resources, and c) these programs are run on the side, rather than as part of normal classes. The incusion of such education in the curriculum should make a massive impact. As I understand it, the program will be run through P.E classes, and be taught by the regular class teacher. It will therefore be graded, and I hope that this will mean students take it more seriously. Also, as it is part of the curriculum, it will probably be covered more in-depth, and the range of topics mentioned in the news release allude to this. That means kids will be getting a better education, which will talk about a range of issues rather than the simplification of mental health issues being only depression.

It is my hope that educating young people in a formal classroom education will reduce the stigma of mental health in our society. In a decade's time, it could mean that the mental health system is finally properly integrated with the health system, providing a much more accessible and affordable support to the public. The education of high school teachers could also lead to a drop in teenage suicide rates (which cause more deaths in this age group annually than car accidents) as the at-risk children are picked up on sooner. Educating teenagers also means that the friendship groups so important at this time are better equipped to support each other. Finally, it might make a real difference to the child welfare system- as mental health issues are better understood by society as a whole, we are more able to provide lasting support structures to the parents and families who need it most. Such great news. Kudos to Black Dog and the nib foundation!



3. 40 DAYS OF TREATS. Another issue overshadowed by the Kony 2012 debate is that of protesters who are silently praying outside abortion clinics in Austalia until April. All day, every day they will be standing outside specific clinics, preforming a silent vigil. Personally, I am strongly pro-choice. Regardless of your own views, though, this campaign is designed at heart to traumatise women and instill guilt in them. Simply put, it is mean-spirited.

When the same protest was happening in the UK, Carmen D’Cruz and Liz Lutgendorff decided to combat the negativity with baked goods and happiness. Basically, they turned up to the clinics with hampers of yummy food for the staff and patrons, spreading happiness and jam in equal measures. What I love about their idea is that it is so simple. It is what we would do for our sister, mother, neighbour in a hard time. Why not do it for a stranger if it is going to make a difference in their life? Such pure kindness.

As reported in this article from MamaMia, during the protests in Australia people are being encouraged to show the same support for the clinics. You can find a list of the effected clinics in the article, as well as more information about what is happening and how to help. I strongly encourage everyone to try and get to a clinic- it will only take a few hours, and you have until the end of April to do it. You will be making a difference to someone's day.

Well, that is the end of me for a day! Please comment below; the great thing about the internet is that we can all be part of the discussion, and I would love to hear your own views on all of these issues. Debate and discussion creates a better future for all of us. Promote change in your own views, and other people's. Comment!

The Second Week...

Yesterday I decided I wasn't going to write a blog entry this time- I felt as though I had done nothing that was worthy of a place on any type of bucket list. Then it was pointed out to me that I had - that the past week, making it through every day has been an achievement.

That got me thinking about the things, and the people, who made it a little easier. So on my bucket list this week, is discovering that break-ups don't have to be an end, they can be just a little bit of a wiggle, before everything goes on again (just in a very different route to before the wiggle). Thankyou James.

So this is a bit of a shit blog, but I promise whole - heartedly that by next week I will have done something more interesting that you might actually want to hear about! :)

xxh

Evolution of a Blog....

So as you might have noticed I haven't posted on this blog for about seven months. I'm not sure why that is, but this kind of thing often happens. Here is a good way to describe me; when I was a child, I went on a school excursion to Scienceworks and one of the things I brought back was a little bouncy ball. It wasn't just round, it was actually a group of smaller balls stuck together. That meant, when you bounced it, you could never be sure which combination of smaller balls were going to strike the concrete, and therefore which way the ball would bounce. That's me- you won't be sure where I will be off next, but it is likely to be a quick up and down, and then I will be bouncing excitedly to the next random thing. In the wake of one of these bounces, this blog got left for dead.

However! I am repenting! Inspired by this article on the MamaMia website, (created by my number-one idol Mia Freedman), I have decided to create a Monday Blog. I will endeavour to do something each week which is amazing, wonderful, crazy, possibly life-changing. Then, each Monday I will blog about my little adventure, and this blog will become my reverse bucket-list, (as described in the article). Well, that's the plan. We'll see how long it is before I bounce on to something else.

My Reverse Bucket-List as it stands today:
- Being born! Haha, yes this is a cop-out. But it kind of has to be on there I think.
- Building a cubby house in the hedge at my Nanna's when I was a kid, with my brother and my sort-of Grandad Bob. I was always very proud that I was at least as good as my brother at building.
- Riding a horse with my best friend at the time, Sarah, at her Auntie's farm. I was so excited to be on a horse, it's name was Velvet and it was stunning.
- Having a relationship with a girl when I was 12 and 13. This is a tough one to include, really, because it did tear my world apart at the time. However, the experience taught me a lot about who I am/was, and what I wanted to be at that time. It showed me what to aspire to and not to put up with being hurt, repeatedly and quite brutally at the time.
- Asking out my ex-boyfriend, James. We dated for just over five years, and they were wonderful years. We grew up together definitely, pulled each other through the worst of years and were basically inseparable. He will always be on this list, without a doubt. I am sorry that the love died but it can't be helped, I will always be grateful for the time we had and for how much he did for me.
- Committing myself to fight the daily fight of depression and anxiety. I am in no way the worst case, and I hate saying that. I hate that there is a competitive aspect of depression as it is seen by both other sufferers and people who (at least claim) to not suffer from it. It cheapens the efforts people make to be happy and get past it, or through it. However, I am not the worst case, but it has been a long, hard slog. I will probably always have to fight through it, to keep the foundations of good mental health in my mind and in the structures of my day, to even have structures of my day. Committing myself to it and taking responsibility for my own mental health has saved my life though, it is definitely on my reverse bucket-list. As is one of my best friends for opening up on her own blog, back in the day, and helping me to begin the process of going to see a Psychologist. Thankyou.
- Moving in with my Nanna. She is one cool home-girl. 'Nuff said.
- Staying back one night as the guys at Oscars cleaned up the bar. My mum once said that some people restore your faith in humanity, and watching these guys and their comradery always restores mine. They are lovely, funny people. Go to Oscars Ale House!
- Spending a day with my good friend Alistair. Second-hand bookshops, Kallista tea-rooms, Oscars again, Kelly's, ... it was just easy fun. I don't think I stopped smiling all day.
- Becoming part of my mother's street gang. I love her ladie's group, they are fantastic. Sharon, Claudia, Laura, Verity, Kay- you guys make me smile.
- Becoming a swimming teacher. Watching some of my kids, (especially those with special needs or who were terrified of water at the beginning) progress so far in a year and become excellent swimmers and safe little water-babies has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. They will probably never know how their little brains became my rock last year. I remember one funny kid said, after being asked "What do you need to check before you go to the beach or pool?", "That you've packed your lunch!". Yes darling, that is the most important thing.
- Meeting everyone at Monbulk Pool. My family of sorts for a year.
- Gaining a step family! I love my sisters and Keith. Rosie is my best friend, Belinda is the most fun. I adore you guys so much.

There is a few more that should be on there, but self-censoring is a brilliant tool. Maybe in ten years time when everyone and everything has moved on, I will share them with you Mr. World Wide Web. For now, you will have to be left wanting until my next blog post! And Facebookians, if you are reading this, please remind me next Monday if I haven't posted!

xoox