Monday, February 20, 2012

The Second Week...

Yesterday I decided I wasn't going to write a blog entry this time- I felt as though I had done nothing that was worthy of a place on any type of bucket list. Then it was pointed out to me that I had - that the past week, making it through every day has been an achievement.

That got me thinking about the things, and the people, who made it a little easier. So on my bucket list this week, is discovering that break-ups don't have to be an end, they can be just a little bit of a wiggle, before everything goes on again (just in a very different route to before the wiggle). Thankyou James.

So this is a bit of a shit blog, but I promise whole - heartedly that by next week I will have done something more interesting that you might actually want to hear about! :)

xxh

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Evolution of a Blog....

So as you might have noticed I haven't posted on this blog for about seven months. I'm not sure why that is, but this kind of thing often happens. Here is a good way to describe me; when I was a child, I went on a school excursion to Scienceworks and one of the things I brought back was a little bouncy ball. It wasn't just round, it was actually a group of smaller balls stuck together. That meant, when you bounced it, you could never be sure which combination of smaller balls were going to strike the concrete, and therefore which way the ball would bounce. That's me- you won't be sure where I will be off next, but it is likely to be a quick up and down, and then I will be bouncing excitedly to the next random thing. In the wake of one of these bounces, this blog got left for dead.

However! I am repenting! Inspired by this article on the MamaMia website, (created by my number-one idol Mia Freedman), I have decided to create a Monday Blog. I will endeavour to do something each week which is amazing, wonderful, crazy, possibly life-changing. Then, each Monday I will blog about my little adventure, and this blog will become my reverse bucket-list, (as described in the article). Well, that's the plan. We'll see how long it is before I bounce on to something else.

My Reverse Bucket-List as it stands today:
- Being born! Haha, yes this is a cop-out. But it kind of has to be on there I think.
- Building a cubby house in the hedge at my Nanna's when I was a kid, with my brother and my sort-of Grandad Bob. I was always very proud that I was at least as good as my brother at building.
- Riding a horse with my best friend at the time, Sarah, at her Auntie's farm. I was so excited to be on a horse, it's name was Velvet and it was stunning.
- Having a relationship with a girl when I was 12 and 13. This is a tough one to include, really, because it did tear my world apart at the time. However, the experience taught me a lot about who I am/was, and what I wanted to be at that time. It showed me what to aspire to and not to put up with being hurt, repeatedly and quite brutally at the time.
- Asking out my ex-boyfriend, James. We dated for just over five years, and they were wonderful years. We grew up together definitely, pulled each other through the worst of years and were basically inseparable. He will always be on this list, without a doubt. I am sorry that the love died but it can't be helped, I will always be grateful for the time we had and for how much he did for me.
- Committing myself to fight the daily fight of depression and anxiety. I am in no way the worst case, and I hate saying that. I hate that there is a competitive aspect of depression as it is seen by both other sufferers and people who (at least claim) to not suffer from it. It cheapens the efforts people make to be happy and get past it, or through it. However, I am not the worst case, but it has been a long, hard slog. I will probably always have to fight through it, to keep the foundations of good mental health in my mind and in the structures of my day, to even have structures of my day. Committing myself to it and taking responsibility for my own mental health has saved my life though, it is definitely on my reverse bucket-list. As is one of my best friends for opening up on her own blog, back in the day, and helping me to begin the process of going to see a Psychologist. Thankyou.
- Moving in with my Nanna. She is one cool home-girl. 'Nuff said.
- Staying back one night as the guys at Oscars cleaned up the bar. My mum once said that some people restore your faith in humanity, and watching these guys and their comradery always restores mine. They are lovely, funny people. Go to Oscars Ale House!
- Spending a day with my good friend Alistair. Second-hand bookshops, Kallista tea-rooms, Oscars again, Kelly's, ... it was just easy fun. I don't think I stopped smiling all day.
- Becoming part of my mother's street gang. I love her ladie's group, they are fantastic. Sharon, Claudia, Laura, Verity, Kay- you guys make me smile.
- Becoming a swimming teacher. Watching some of my kids, (especially those with special needs or who were terrified of water at the beginning) progress so far in a year and become excellent swimmers and safe little water-babies has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. They will probably never know how their little brains became my rock last year. I remember one funny kid said, after being asked "What do you need to check before you go to the beach or pool?", "That you've packed your lunch!". Yes darling, that is the most important thing.
- Meeting everyone at Monbulk Pool. My family of sorts for a year.
- Gaining a step family! I love my sisters and Keith. Rosie is my best friend, Belinda is the most fun. I adore you guys so much.

There is a few more that should be on there, but self-censoring is a brilliant tool. Maybe in ten years time when everyone and everything has moved on, I will share them with you Mr. World Wide Web. For now, you will have to be left wanting until my next blog post! And Facebookians, if you are reading this, please remind me next Monday if I haven't posted!

xoox