The Adventures of Skull Boy and Water Baby...

I'm going to write a series of poems predominantly about two characters, Skull Boy and Water Baby, (who are based on a couple I saw at the Rites of Passage Tattoo and Art Festival, which I'll post about in a few days). Here are the first few poems, they're in a kind of an order. I haven't worked it fully out yet, maybe you can make your own.

And that inspired me to write this one....

Missing you
is writing bad-love poems
with a pick-up line magnetic poetry set
on an empty fridge.








Well I hope that gave you some enjoyment! Please feel free to critique the poems, it is always helpful to know what people think doesn't work.
as always, h xx

Wondering What the Big Deal is...

After a discussion on depression in a Uni class last week, a girl came up and asked me "Why are you so open about having anxiety?"
I was kind of shocked. Actually, not kind of. I was dumbstruck.

The tone of the question was accusing, disappointed, angry. As if she felt I didn't have the right to speak up about the issues. As if the only reason I was speaking up was to get attention for myself. As if I'd made her uncomfortable, and she wanted an apology.

Well, no.


Why do we have to approach mental health as an abstract and impersonal issue, when that is exactly what it isn't? Why do people assume that when I say I struggle with anxiety and depression, I am about to fall apart and run off the nearest roof?

And why do I speak so openly about it? Because it is normal. It's everyday. Tackling it is just another thing I do, like buying milk and cleaning my teeth. Because everyone should be able to say how they are feeling honestly, without thinking they will get fired, or feeling second-rate. Because having these conversations behind closed doors is what makes depression so hard to detect in the first place. Because believe it or not, I am seriously not the only one in the whole universe who has to deal with it, you probably will too at some point in your life.

When I first really started to feel myself go under, in high school, no-one was talking about mental health as a wide spectrum. If you weren't suicidal, you were happy. I knew that I didn't feel as bad as the really sad kids; those Upwey girls who hung themselves. I also knew I was not as happy as my friends. I assumed that I was either crazy, or subconsciously trying to attract attention, and that I should just keep quiet.

Those feelings delayed me being able to get help by about 5 years. For some people I know, that's more like 10, or 20. What happens if you delay cancer treatment? It develops- the stages change, it gets more serious. This is the same with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. The longer the delay, the harder it is to get back on track.

Last year, a friend turned up to work, distraught. That week one of his best mates had been found in the backyard, swinging from a rope. Nobody knew that anything had been wrong- he was married, they had fights like any other couple, but outwardly he was happy. Thankfully this guy survived, after being in a coma for a few days. Those Upwey girls weren't so lucky. Suicide kills more teenagers every year than car accidents. Isn't that worth talking about?


So no, girl in my uni class. I am not an attention seeking brat, or an emo kid crying in the corner. Most days I'm actually incessantly and annoyingly cheerful. Occasionally I am angry, and sometimes I am in between. These are called moods, and regardless of your state of mental health, they are normal. It's a spectrum, and you're on there somewhere too.

Here's a video that sums it all up;

If you need help, call someone:
- beyondblue info line: 1300 22 4636
-Lifeline: 13 11 14
-SuicideLine (VIC): 1300 651 251
Or check out the beyondblue website.

helenxx

The past couple of weeks have been filled with interesting happenings.

 Most importantly, I rediscovered the news - through the MamaMia website. Mia Freedman has long been my number one idol (and this is a pretty big feat, if you could see the list...). I could give you the massive list of reasons why, but I would prefer if you read her memoirs, also called "Mama Mia". I will even lend it to you!

Here are the three news issues which impacted me most this fortnight, and what I think of them. They are only my own views. Therefore, as a disclaimer: I don't claim to be infallible or to be an expert on any of the issues below, so don't read them as such. I am open to changing my views on any topic, if I am provided with reason to, and I will listen to your reasons. In order to be as short and sweet as possible, I have neglected to reference my information, if you would like some links, comment below and I will add them.

1. KONY 2012. Yes, this has been over-publicized and we are exhausted- give me four sentences and I will stop. My main problem is that the Invisible Children are a shady organisation who have produced a video which is basically a piece of propoganda and an advertising tool for their online store. It over-simplifies the issues in Uganda, (and the whole of Africa, and every third-world country) encouraging a violent man hunt which, even if it is successful, will achieve nothing in the long-term for the people of Uganda. In the video Jacob consistently and passionately talks about wanting to go to school. I believe the real way to overturn Kony and every other "bad man" in Africa and Uganda is to provide the resources and teachers to educate as many children as possible, creating an environment of hope and understanding in the community which can lead to change - supporting a violent man hunt only supports violence, and they have seen enough of that already.

2. THE BLACK DOG INSTITUTE. As the Kony 2012 campaign exploded into Facebook, a lot of people forgot about issues much closer to home, and this one was left for dead.  In a nutshell; the institute has been training teachers to educate children on mental health issues, as part of the P.E curriculum. The program will begin in NSW, and then be rolled out across the rest of Australia. It's focused on teaching teenagers about mood disorders, recognising symptoms, understanding at-risk personality types, knowing where to get help and building resilience. Click on the link above to read the news release from Black Dog.

While there have been many attempts to educate teenagers about depression in schools, the current teenage suicide rates suggest these have been unsuccessful.  I believe that the main reasons for this are; a) the programs are not taken seriously by students, b) there is not enough content covered by such programs because of limited time and resources, and c) these programs are run on the side, rather than as part of normal classes. The incusion of such education in the curriculum should make a massive impact. As I understand it, the program will be run through P.E classes, and be taught by the regular class teacher. It will therefore be graded, and I hope that this will mean students take it more seriously. Also, as it is part of the curriculum, it will probably be covered more in-depth, and the range of topics mentioned in the news release allude to this. That means kids will be getting a better education, which will talk about a range of issues rather than the simplification of mental health issues being only depression.

It is my hope that educating young people in a formal classroom education will reduce the stigma of mental health in our society. In a decade's time, it could mean that the mental health system is finally properly integrated with the health system, providing a much more accessible and affordable support to the public. The education of high school teachers could also lead to a drop in teenage suicide rates (which cause more deaths in this age group annually than car accidents) as the at-risk children are picked up on sooner. Educating teenagers also means that the friendship groups so important at this time are better equipped to support each other. Finally, it might make a real difference to the child welfare system- as mental health issues are better understood by society as a whole, we are more able to provide lasting support structures to the parents and families who need it most. Such great news. Kudos to Black Dog and the nib foundation!



3. 40 DAYS OF TREATS. Another issue overshadowed by the Kony 2012 debate is that of protesters who are silently praying outside abortion clinics in Austalia until April. All day, every day they will be standing outside specific clinics, preforming a silent vigil. Personally, I am strongly pro-choice. Regardless of your own views, though, this campaign is designed at heart to traumatise women and instill guilt in them. Simply put, it is mean-spirited.

When the same protest was happening in the UK, Carmen D’Cruz and Liz Lutgendorff decided to combat the negativity with baked goods and happiness. Basically, they turned up to the clinics with hampers of yummy food for the staff and patrons, spreading happiness and jam in equal measures. What I love about their idea is that it is so simple. It is what we would do for our sister, mother, neighbour in a hard time. Why not do it for a stranger if it is going to make a difference in their life? Such pure kindness.

As reported in this article from MamaMia, during the protests in Australia people are being encouraged to show the same support for the clinics. You can find a list of the effected clinics in the article, as well as more information about what is happening and how to help. I strongly encourage everyone to try and get to a clinic- it will only take a few hours, and you have until the end of April to do it. You will be making a difference to someone's day.

Well, that is the end of me for a day! Please comment below; the great thing about the internet is that we can all be part of the discussion, and I would love to hear your own views on all of these issues. Debate and discussion creates a better future for all of us. Promote change in your own views, and other people's. Comment!

The Second Week...

Yesterday I decided I wasn't going to write a blog entry this time- I felt as though I had done nothing that was worthy of a place on any type of bucket list. Then it was pointed out to me that I had - that the past week, making it through every day has been an achievement.

That got me thinking about the things, and the people, who made it a little easier. So on my bucket list this week, is discovering that break-ups don't have to be an end, they can be just a little bit of a wiggle, before everything goes on again (just in a very different route to before the wiggle). Thankyou James.

So this is a bit of a shit blog, but I promise whole - heartedly that by next week I will have done something more interesting that you might actually want to hear about! :)

xxh

Evolution of a Blog....

So as you might have noticed I haven't posted on this blog for about seven months. I'm not sure why that is, but this kind of thing often happens. Here is a good way to describe me; when I was a child, I went on a school excursion to Scienceworks and one of the things I brought back was a little bouncy ball. It wasn't just round, it was actually a group of smaller balls stuck together. That meant, when you bounced it, you could never be sure which combination of smaller balls were going to strike the concrete, and therefore which way the ball would bounce. That's me- you won't be sure where I will be off next, but it is likely to be a quick up and down, and then I will be bouncing excitedly to the next random thing. In the wake of one of these bounces, this blog got left for dead.

However! I am repenting! Inspired by this article on the MamaMia website, (created by my number-one idol Mia Freedman), I have decided to create a Monday Blog. I will endeavour to do something each week which is amazing, wonderful, crazy, possibly life-changing. Then, each Monday I will blog about my little adventure, and this blog will become my reverse bucket-list, (as described in the article). Well, that's the plan. We'll see how long it is before I bounce on to something else.

My Reverse Bucket-List as it stands today:
- Being born! Haha, yes this is a cop-out. But it kind of has to be on there I think.
- Building a cubby house in the hedge at my Nanna's when I was a kid, with my brother and my sort-of Grandad Bob. I was always very proud that I was at least as good as my brother at building.
- Riding a horse with my best friend at the time, Sarah, at her Auntie's farm. I was so excited to be on a horse, it's name was Velvet and it was stunning.
- Having a relationship with a girl when I was 12 and 13. This is a tough one to include, really, because it did tear my world apart at the time. However, the experience taught me a lot about who I am/was, and what I wanted to be at that time. It showed me what to aspire to and not to put up with being hurt, repeatedly and quite brutally at the time.
- Asking out my ex-boyfriend, James. We dated for just over five years, and they were wonderful years. We grew up together definitely, pulled each other through the worst of years and were basically inseparable. He will always be on this list, without a doubt. I am sorry that the love died but it can't be helped, I will always be grateful for the time we had and for how much he did for me.
- Committing myself to fight the daily fight of depression and anxiety. I am in no way the worst case, and I hate saying that. I hate that there is a competitive aspect of depression as it is seen by both other sufferers and people who (at least claim) to not suffer from it. It cheapens the efforts people make to be happy and get past it, or through it. However, I am not the worst case, but it has been a long, hard slog. I will probably always have to fight through it, to keep the foundations of good mental health in my mind and in the structures of my day, to even have structures of my day. Committing myself to it and taking responsibility for my own mental health has saved my life though, it is definitely on my reverse bucket-list. As is one of my best friends for opening up on her own blog, back in the day, and helping me to begin the process of going to see a Psychologist. Thankyou.
- Moving in with my Nanna. She is one cool home-girl. 'Nuff said.
- Staying back one night as the guys at Oscars cleaned up the bar. My mum once said that some people restore your faith in humanity, and watching these guys and their comradery always restores mine. They are lovely, funny people. Go to Oscars Ale House!
- Spending a day with my good friend Alistair. Second-hand bookshops, Kallista tea-rooms, Oscars again, Kelly's, ... it was just easy fun. I don't think I stopped smiling all day.
- Becoming part of my mother's street gang. I love her ladie's group, they are fantastic. Sharon, Claudia, Laura, Verity, Kay- you guys make me smile.
- Becoming a swimming teacher. Watching some of my kids, (especially those with special needs or who were terrified of water at the beginning) progress so far in a year and become excellent swimmers and safe little water-babies has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. They will probably never know how their little brains became my rock last year. I remember one funny kid said, after being asked "What do you need to check before you go to the beach or pool?", "That you've packed your lunch!". Yes darling, that is the most important thing.
- Meeting everyone at Monbulk Pool. My family of sorts for a year.
- Gaining a step family! I love my sisters and Keith. Rosie is my best friend, Belinda is the most fun. I adore you guys so much.

There is a few more that should be on there, but self-censoring is a brilliant tool. Maybe in ten years time when everyone and everything has moved on, I will share them with you Mr. World Wide Web. For now, you will have to be left wanting until my next blog post! And Facebookians, if you are reading this, please remind me next Monday if I haven't posted!

xoox

Black and White and Pink and Striped...

I've been busy sewing again! And also cleaning. This week has seen me become obsessed with the offendingly named "Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" documentary series, (aside from the 'big' and 'fat' parts of the title, 'gypsy' is a derogatory term and isn't consistent with the cameraman's use of the correct terms, of Irish Traveller or Romanie). Therefore I have become as much of a housewife as I imagine I will ever be. I cleaned the bathroom, my wardrobe, my and my partner's room, did the dishes, and sorted out our study. Most importantly, I created a mini-wardrobe-studio in the study, where I can take photos of my sewing exploits. It's conveniently right next door to our bedroom and my wardrobe, and to my computer. So I can check the photos on a big screen as I go! Brilliant!

Which brings me to the newest projects. The first is my latest pair of leggings. I purchased fabric off Charlee Fabrics for this pair, which I'm sure not many people over the age of 10 will appreciate, (though I am sure the little students in the fluorescent pink goggles and stripey dotty flowery swimsuits whom I teach swimming would!) but the most important change was the pattern. My dad pointed out that the last two pairs I've made didn't really seem to fit properly, especially around the knees. He was very right- they were loose enough to be trousers but not the right shape to be. So, I simply cut from the top of the thigh down as a small size, and left from the crotch up as a medium size.  Here are some pictures;

I also recently bought some stripey satin jersey from Spotlight to create an infinity dress from. Infinity dresses are all over BurdaStyle. They are basically a skirt, of whatever length you want, with two long straps that you can use in any way you want. I fell in love with this maxi infinity on BurdaStyle, after seeing it linked on Karin's blog. There are a lot of tutorials, but basically what I did was cut a length of fabric (I think) on the grain, make this into an elastic waisted maxi skirt, (1 seam), and then cut 2 straps as wide as half my front bust and as long as my height almost twice, sew the straps to the skirt with a slight overlay, and you're done. If that's a little confusing, feel free to comment me or check out Karin's blog and have a look through her links for a little more help. Anyway, here is the dress;

 If you are planning to make one yourself I would definitely suggest having a very well fitting strapless bra, preferably with a decorative back and a nice shaped cup. In the strapless variations I usually tuck a little bit of fabric over the bra, to give it a little more support as the jersey is very flexible. Also, I've noticed some people are making little shawl pin type things with leftover fabric, which could definitely be useful if you wanted to make lots of different designs with your dress. Most people do bows, but I think knot type pins could be handy as well, as they would fit in better with Grecian styles. Anyway, at the end of the dress I had some leftover fabric, which made this top (also shown in the leggings pictures) from the chickadee pattern off BurdaStyle, (it's free! check it out!);

And here is a new project I am working on...

Hope you enjoyed!
helenxx

Cowl Dress and Inspiration...

Anybody remember this fabric...

 

 

?

Well, I've finally done something with it! Recently I discovered this wonderful sewing patterns website, where the patterns are available in download form and everything is really, really cheap. I wouldn't buy patterns from anywhere else really- the service is quick and reliable, all of your downloads remain on a kind of "user" page, where you can print them again and again, and they have quite a wide variety of brands and styles. When I had one complaint about what I thought was an unfinished pattern, they were very quick to respond and point me in the right direction- I continued sewing the very next morning. Well, anyway, a while ago I downloaded this pattern;

McCalls 6161, here it is on sewingpatterns.com

and when I went fabric shopping I kept it in mind and bought the khaki fabric. I ended up buying about 3 meters of it, because I thought, as dress D (bottom right) is cut on the crosswise grain, that it would take up a lot more fabric. I was totally wrong, and I now have heaps of fabric left over. More on that later. The only struggles I had with this pattern were;
a) If you download, the pattern pieces come on two different PDF files, so you need to look for pattern 2 and print that as well, which I didn't realise, and then sent an almost rude email to the service people, (sorry!).
b) The cowl neck is actually separate, but I am going to sew mine on because as a separate piece I can see the neckline underneath it, which looks a bit tacky I think.
c) I used black thread in my machine when I should have used khaki so that it wouldn't have shown. Next time I will take the time to go out and find some matching thread.
d) Make sure you have tailors chalk for when you are cutting the pattern pieces out- because you need to lay down, cut one half, and then flip the pieces over and cut out the second half so it is one big piece. The tailors chalk will mean you can draw outlines to help you flip it over accurately.

Here's how it turned out...

I really love how it fits- although this picture isn't the best for showing it- it is nice and tight at the bottom which accentuates my curves, and then the top drapes loosely hiding my tummy. Because it is loose, it doesn't get hot under there- really it is perfect as an autumn dress. Looks great with tights and gumboots :)

While I am on a blog about the fantastic sewing patterns website, here is a wishlist in photo form...

This dress reminds me of the stunning green evening gown worn by Keira Knightley in the film Atonement, my favorite film and book. If you have a copy or can rent a DVD, do, and watch it a second time with the directors commentary on. It is very, very interesting- it made me want to marry the director! Here is her dress;

Just stunning. The movement of the fabric as she walks, to me, evokes fluttering trees and the way long grass sways in the wind like an ocean. When I was little, I had a picture book of Robin Hood and Maid Marian, and this dress reminds me so much of that book.

Just one last photo of the lovely sunny before I go...

 

helenxx